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How REAL Can We Be? Exploring Schema Therapist’s Boundaries and Self-Disclosure -SOLD OUT-

  • 21 Mar 2015
  • 9:00 AM - 5:30 PM
  • Kardinal-Frings-Str. 1-3 50668 Köln, Germany


When is self-disclosure appropriate? How do we answer the tough questions put forth by our most challenging clinical populations, such as: “Do you find me attractive ... How would you feel if your partner yelled at you ... Has your partner ever cheated on you ... Wouldn’t you be angry if ... Are you trying to act like you care about me?”

How do we gauge when we are sharing too much or not enough? How do we effectively respond to those moments in the therapy relationship when our patients REALLY want to know what we are feeling vis-à-vis them, and they ask us: “Do I bore you ... You seem tired ... Are you angry with me ... How can you possibly understand what it’s like for me ... Do you ever have dreams about me ... Did you miss me while I was away?

Schema Therapy proposes that the therapist take the role of the (albeit limited) “adaptive parent” for the vulnerable/child side of the patient a patient whose security has been compromised by profound ruptures in early attachment. The stance and demeanor required for such a role includes an abundant amount of realness, i.e., openness, humanness, sturdiness, and flexibility - that is relevant to the patient’s needs and overall treatment goals. This is not the typical stance when simply “being a therapist”, bound by the sometimes too rigid, formulaic, and ideological response patterns, and often hierarchical lines of demarcation.

But, doesn’t this proposal smack against the rules many of us learned in graduate programs about maintaining a professional posture: no self-disclosure, no physical touch with clients, no accepting any gifts? Is this valid? How do we find the right balance?

This full-day seminar will explore the origins, myths, realities, and the necessity of such rules and boundaries, while discerning when it’s appropriate and necessary to bypass the guidelines and trust your gut in order to help your patients achieve a healthy treatment outcome. We will explore how being an expert who is “real” – with vivid emotional presence and receptivity can lend itself to robust healing and repair for our patients, especially when those prickly (and plentiful) moments arise in the therapy relationship.

The format of the workshop will include lecture, practice exercise, brief video segments that demonstrate specific strategies, and question-and-answer periods.

About Wendy Behary:

Wendy Behary is the founder and director of the Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey, and the New Jersey Institute for Schema Therapy. In the field for more than 20 years, she has worked together with Jeff Young since 1989. Wendy is the author of Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed (2013), and has authored and co-authored several chapters and articles on schema therapy and cognitive therapy. She lectures in the United States and internationally, spreading the message of Schema Therapy to clinicians throughout the world. She has been the ISST President from 2010 to 2014. Wendy currently chairs the “Brainstorming” subcommittee of the ISST. 

Cost: € 270, includes lunch and beverages.

Target Group: Clinicians trained in Schema Therapy. Workshop held in English. 

Questions? EMAIL Petra Baumann-Frankenberger 

Registration: LINK

Why Schema Therapy?

Schema therapy has been extensively researched to effectively treat a wide variety of typically treatment resistant conditions, including Borderline Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Read our summary of the latest research comparing the dramatic results of schema therapy compared to other standard models of psychotherapy.

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